Yesterday started out as normal as can be. Jared and I both got up early to catch the bus into the city together and then parted ways for the day. Mid-morning at college, I got a text from him though basically doubting whether he wanted to continue on with uni degree. I was gob-smacked. This was big. He’d only started just a few weeks ago, and when he first started he was so excited. He’d given up a stable full time job, studied for the last 12 months doing a bridging course to be able to have a shot at being selected for an architecture course, and now he didn’t know if he wanted to do it anymore. I wasn’t lying when I said this was definitely big for him.
So without hesitation, I told him to meet me after class. It was time for an emergency coffee date, because coffee fixes everything, right? We totally and completely broke our one coffee a day rule by getting a coffee together, but I feel it was justified. You just can’t discuss a quarter life crisis without a cup of coffee. Jared went all out and even had a scoop of ice-cream too. What a rebel!
There was a long chat. We discussed all of the pro’s and cons of his options, his feelings towards both, what was important to him in life and what he actually wanted. By the end of our slowly drunk coffees, he had come to conclusion by himself he wanted to leave uni and get a full time job as a draftsperson. He wasn’t definite, and I could hear the doubt in his voice. But it was a start!
So we left, caught a train back and walked home, with him still unsure with his decision. I decided to leave it for the rest of the day and we just enjoyed some relaxing time on the couch, watching The Hobbit and eating some homemade chicken soup. Because nothing quite soothes the soul like a good chicken soup, right? I’ll post the recipe for it later this week, I promise!
A weird, but beautiful thing did happen yesterday though while we were both in the kitchen. A curious rainbow lorikeet came to our window and tapped on it. It stayed for a little while, then left. In all the time we’ve been here, I have never seen any. Let alone have one come to our window and stay! Being the hippie that I am, I do believe in signs. And I took this one as a good omen from the universe that he was going to be ok.
Today he decided to skip uni and work on fixing his CV so he could start applying for jobs. I decided to stay him with him and work on my assignments. Early this morning though, I dragged him out of bed for a walk. To clear his head, refresh his mind/body and to treat him to a little breakfast afterwards too. We walked around our local park and ended up clocking a nice 3.9km in the end!
Then had breakfast at a café attached to my favourite garden store next to the park. The food was nice, but a bit pricey for such a small café. Jared got the breakfast special which was a potato rosti, poached eggs, salmon, avo and hollandaise which was $21!! I got the smashed avo, macadamia dukkah and poached eggs on gluten free bread for $17. Despite how expensive it was, and the faint smell of fertiliser that came with the breeze every now and then, it was still really nice!
Plus it came with the added perk of being attached to the garden store, so we had a little browse after breakfast and ended up buying small tubs of purple basil, marjoram, curly parsley, oregano and stevia! Which I promptly planted in my little balcony garden as soon as we got home.
I think he’s still a bit unsure at the moment, but at least he’s at least he’s looking and sounding a bit happier now. I think his biggest obstacle is feeling like a “failure” for quitting. But like I keep reminding him, he can always go back to his studies next year if he wants to. He’s not a quitter for changing his mind because he was no longer happy and wanting to explore new paths because of that. I tell him daily that he should always pursue what makes him happy, and never what thinks he should do to make everyone else happy or to fit in with society’s standard of what he should do. And whatever that may be, I will support him with it.
I think as a society we put too much pressure on ourselves to find just one thing we can do, and stick at that forever and ever without ever questioning whether it is still making us happy, letting us grow, serving us emotionally/physically/mentally or providing fulfilment each day. It’s not weird to want to try new things, explore new paths and want to change direction.
I hope if anyone reading this is facing a similar problem, please know that you’re not alone. Because it’s not just Jared that is going through this. I deal with this problem all the damn time myself (whether I voice it out loud every time is another story) because I am forever changing my mind about what I want to do and am having to constantly remind myself of this truth.
It’s never too late to become the person you want to be. And if you don’t know who that person is just yet, that’s okay too. It will come, so just trust the process, enjoy the journey and tackle the challenges head on!